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Funny Pages

Assorted cartoons, parody and satire aimed at the psychiatric drug industry's shameless marketing to a gullible public.
Updated monthly, with newest additions at top.
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Christopher Weyant: Remember when we used to have to fatten the kids up first? Remember when? Will McPhail: We get in, we get help, and we get out. We get in,
we get help,
we get out.
Visualize yourself not dying and then be that reality. - Farley Katz Visualize
your reality. 		We can do extensive blood work, take x-rays, check your prostate... or I could sell you some great weed for $50. We can do
extensive
blood work.
Question: which is healthier to eat, this sugary cereal or this frosted toaster pastry? Answer: the cardboard box they came in. Which is healthier
to eat? 		I see a clock ticking on an esoteric test that's open to interpretation with dubious results at $300 an hour. Shrink Blot Test.
John Jonik - medical bill Medical bill. John Jonik - pesticide funny buiness As long as there's
no hitting.
Your test results are in. We've ruled out anything cheap. The test
results are in.		 Your tests all came back negative, but we have a pill for that Your tests all
came back negative.
Doctor, couldn't it be something to do with my diet that's causing these problems? Now you are being
delusional again.		 cartoonist P. C. Vey -- unnecessary surgery room Unnecessary surgery.
I want you to meditate for 20 minutes, twice a day, exercise for at least 30 minutes a day, avoid processed foods, eat plenty of organic fruits and vegetables, spend more time in nature and less time indoors, stop worrying about things you can't control and ditch your television. Come back in three weeks. I don't feel well and
I'm not sure why.		 SAT scores are based on a student's percentile relative to other students taking the same test. Your S.A.T. score?
The patient is cured, truly. He's cured. No offense, but I'm going to seek a third opinion. I'm going to seek
a third opinion.
My desire to be well-informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane. In order to
remain sane. 		Come away from the window. You don't want to be a child left behind, do you? You don't want
to be left behind.
Thank goodness we're on Xanax now, so there's no need to panic and run for our lives like we did before. Thank goodness
we're on Xanax. 		This anti-depressant works best if you take it with water lapping near your hammock on a Caribbean beach. Speed Bump - Dave Coverly This anti-depressant works best.
I'm pathologically gullible. Oh my, this could take years of therapy! Pathologically gullible. the children in America are forced to spend 8 hours sitting in classrooms, then they are drugged when they move too much or make too much noise, and their primary source of entertainment is the television - that's horrible, we should take up donations for them We should take up
donations for them.
Stephen Colbert - The Word: Meducation Meducation. Peter C Vey: I've donated all my diplomas to Doctors Without Diplomas Doctors without diplomas.
Our studies confirm that the mice that get tiny sports cars have much higher self-esteem. Studies confirm
these mice have
higher self-esteem. 		Nobody noticed any side effects. Cartoonist Harley Schwadron We tested this drug on mice.
I take Aspirin for the headache caused by the Zyrtec I take for the hayfever I got from Relenza for the uneasy stomach from the Ritalin... I take aspirin for
the headache. 		Bizarro by Dan Piraro Celebrity mice.
lifeguard shouts at a drowning man Shrink's summer job. Carol Simpson: this one shows great promise This drug shows great promise.
Have you tried wearing a beret set at a jaunty angle? Have you tried
wearing a beret
set at a jaunty angle? 		xpsych.com New Disorder Discovered.
Take the Online Screener.
Of course, any procedure carries a certain amount of risk: Dan Piraro - Bizarro Any procedure carries
a certain amount of risk.		 You only have two weeks to live, but my portfolio is up thirty percent! You only have
2 weeks to live.
Chantix may be an alternative, but warn your loved ones to watch out for the side effects Trying to quit smoking? there are only two things that prevent me from losing weight: diet and exercise Trying to lose weight?
Prescription drugs make me happy, but I worry that it's not genuine happiness. Ask for a drug that cures worrying. It might make you grow an exoskeleton, but you won't care. Cool! Ask your doctor for a
drug that cures worrying.		 Herb 'Burb: pills are an essential part of your daily nutrition The last pills you'll ever need.
Prescription pills? This one has the most friends. Prescriptions: this one
has the most friends. 		A tisket, a tasket, her brain is in a basket. Her brain is in a basket.
Define better.
Take one a day with tomato and cucumber Farmacy. Flabba bloba blibbidy! Hey this guy makes sense. Hey this guy
makes sense.
prescribing two slanted loops, and something that looks like a P or J - Randy Glasbergen I'm prescribing
a squiggly line. 		Mr. Medicinal: Zortafrinex may cause total scrotal implosion The right choice:
Zortafrinex®
bipolar diagnosis: true-to-life funny video Bipolar diagnosis psychiatric labels harm children Bipolar label
Beetle Bailey. Is this some desperate attempt to get attention? Help! Harry Bliss. I'm going to recommend a Thorazine-Ritalin cocktail, just to see what the heck happens. I'm going to recommend a
Thorazine-Ritalin cocktail.
Mark Thompson cartoon. When a psychiatrist says it, it's not considered psychobabble. It's not considered
psychobabble. 		Overmedicated: Here's a pill that will offset the eat-sleep-crap-screw pill. Dr. Billy Gardell
You ought to be horsewhipped: Kris Kringle opposes psychiatry Santa battles
psychiatric quackery.		 Randy Glasbergen cartoon: I'm going to prescribe something for your Prescription Deficiency Syndrome Prescription
Deficiency Syndrome
Exaggerol. Bogusil. Pseudomed. Fraudulene. polyp.org.uk Pseudomed & Fraudulene     pharmacy staff picks - cartoon by Harry Bliss Pharmacy
Staff Picks
Calvin and Hobbes: the pills must be working The pills must be working. teachers and school officials now have a pharmaceutical ally in the war on keeping inquisitive minds in line Keeping inquisitive minds in line.
With the right medication, you could have great self-esteem. Why settle for
good self-esteem?		 there doesn't have to be anything wrong with you - you just have to be scared Your weakness
is our strength.
if you're not depressed now, you will be by the end of this commercial Numbalex:
depressed yet?		 twitter-facebook-myspace narcissism-adhd-stalking Social media disorder
Venn Diagram
Could we up the dosage? I still have feelings. Doctor, could we
up the dosage?		 You were right. My self esteem has improved since I've begun dressing like a doctor. Patient's self-esteem
markedly improved.
this pill will help you sleep as long as you don't worry about side effects This prescription
will help you sleep.		 American Murder Association: AMA American Murder Association.
Katt Williams on Ritalin Lookin' like a flamingo. Greta ends up hospitalized due to a sudden chemical imbalance Sudden chemical imbalance.
Swallow your pill the way an alien does, with a spoonful of smooth and creamy yogurt, chocolate pudding or rose hip soup Swallow your pill
like a space alien.		 When Amy started thinking for herself, we had to nip it in the bud with Obay From the makers of
whybecauseisaidso®
                                                 See Page 2 for more funnies!


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